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HUMOR Page 1
|The Lord Shall Provide|
After the dam broke, the pastor was forced to retreat into the balcony and continued to pray. A crew in another boat came along and yelled thru the balcony window, "Come on pastor, we've got most everybody out and the water is still rising. You need to come now". The pastor replied, "There might be someone else who needs rescued. Don't worry about me. The Lord will provide for me."
After the crew left, the pastor continued to pray and was forced into the steeple tower. Within a few minutes, another rescue crew arrived via helicopter, lowered a basket and signal the pastor to climb in. Once again the pastor waved them off, yelling "Thank you my son, but my confidence is in the Lord and he won't let me down. He provided for Noah and He'll provide for me." Finally, after attempting in vain to persuade the pastor, the crew flew off, the water continued to rise, and the pastor drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the pastor beseeched the Lord,
"Lord, why? Why did you let me down. I
prayed and trusted you. Why did you not deliver me in
the time of my trouble?" The Lord replied, "You big
dummy, I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
Comment: Many of us look for God to send sensational miracles, but forget that God is always working in the ordinary circumstances of life.
At the end of the first day, in which Mike mostly just sat around, the manager told him that he needed to start acting more like a gorilla so that the customers didn't start complaining. Mike thought about quitting, but remembered his family and just nodded. The next day, Mike began walking around like a gorilla and even climbing. After a few days, he began swinging from the vines and noticed that the more active he was, the bigger his audience. He also noticed that he was actually enjoying his job.
One day, Mike had a particularly large and enthusiastic audience as he
was doing tricks while swinging from the vines. On one trick, he
was swinging higher than ever, from vine to vine, when suddenly he lost
his grip and flew over the sidebars of his cage into the lion's cage
next to his. After regaining his senses, he noticed a huge lion
slowly walking toward him. Mike tried to remain calm, knowing that
an outburst would probably cost him his job. The lion kept getting
closer and closer. Mike kept telling himself, "remain calm and
quiet. Remember your family. You need this job."
Finally, as the lion came within a few feet, Mike looked at the fangs of
his mouth, the huge claws, panicked and yelled "HELP!!!" The lion
stopped in his tracks and said, "Hey buddy, keep it down. You want
to get us both fired?"
Comment: Things on the inside are not always as they appear from the outside. Many people sit in church pews week after week, but are nothing more than white-washed tombs (Mt 23:27). Many are even members of a local church, but not members of the Universal Church (believers possessing eternal life). If you are not sure of your eternal destination, we encourage you to read How to Know for Sure You're Going to Heaven.